


we are the bent, not broken.

by howlingautumn (orphan_account)



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Emotionally Constipated Thorin, Female Bilbo, Female Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, King Thorin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-28
Updated: 2015-07-29
Packaged: 2018-04-11 16:22:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4443200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/howlingautumn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is not love at first sight, it is not predestined by the stars, it is however, brilliant. And they are both creatures of duty, honor hewn straight down to their bones. They always have been.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. never gonna quit it, no.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all, broken ankles are no fun and only your kind words can heal me. Just kidding. But really, I hope you enjoy this, I plan on making it into a longer fic. Also, warning, warning, warning, there will be some adult content in the fic. So, underage, sex-repulsed, you name it, ignore the bits or shield thine eyes. Anyway, enjoy, and thank you!

The marriage had been a quick affair if you think of it simply. They had only met briefly, a handful of times, always in the middle, never in their own kingdoms or homes. Still, a few months into their marriage, they play their parts flawlessly, as if they had done it all before, rehearsed it for lifetimes, only to be thrown onto stage in a cacophony of applause. They fall into their roles so comfortably, the King and Queen Under the Mountain, everywhere but the bedchamber. 

Bluebell Baggins can't help but try and think of this as her husband slides into her with no sound at all. Her hands are very neatly lying at her sides, her legs open just enough, and her eyes averted. Thorin Oakenshield is braced above her, supporting himself on his strong arms, limiting their contact even more because his blue nightshirt is still on. As is her shift. His eyes are staring straight ahead and his hips maintain a steady rhythm. This interaction had started out as it always had, out of a sheer sense of duty. An heir must be created. No matter if Fili and Kili were alive and well and loved by both of them. An heir must be had. Thorin had knocked politely, their typical awkwardness seeping into her rooms. 

He had kissed her cheek, once and asked, "Are you sure?"

"Yes," she said. He always asks, he always knocks, and he never hurts her. Not even their first time together, when she had come to his bed a maid. 

Thorin squeezes his eyes shut above her, picks up his speed, while heat unfurls in her lower belly, making her want to do something stupid like wrap her legs around him or kiss his stubborn, brooding mouth or wind her fingers into his hair. It takes her palms minutely tightening against the sheets to keep her from embarrassing herself as the King Under the Mountain's hips jerk three final times and he spends inside of her for several long seconds. 

Without even the slightest pressure on her body, he rolls off and tries to catch his breath, making her feel less like a wife and more like a breeding mare, although unintentionally. This is how they must be. This is how they must be. 

_Durin the Deathless is currently on his knees in front of his one and true and only. She inhales sharply when he finds just that right spot with his tongue. She knots her fingers into his hair and pulls so hard that he might have bald spots tomorrow. So engrossed he is in his task that he almost misses her words._

_"Durin," she says, "Durin."_

_Sadly, he gives her one last lingering lick and looks up, beard wet with the sweetest taste of her. "Yes, my love?"  
_

_"You will live six lives and I will live one. Who will be yours in the next?"_

_He wants to bury himself inside her until there is no him or her just them together, forever, through all the cursed lives he may live. Instead, he kisses her thigh, noses up her navel, "You and I, we never change."  
_

Oh, but you do. 


	2. hey, hey, i might have made a mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like this one. As always, read and review as you like. :) Also, if you'd like to read Always in My Head it might make a tad more sense.

Thorin Oakenshield waits until Bluebell's breathing slows to a quiet timbre before he slips from her chambers and into the dark hallway. He feels the heavy weight of guilt that he always does after he lies with her. Not because of the act itself or because he does not desire her, because, Mahal knows, he does, but for the reason that she must hate their encounters. Her hands always stay close to her sides and she never makes a sound except for the almost imperceptible quickening of her breath. Thorin makes sure is ready, but he tries to keep his touches short, as to not further her discomfort. 

Their marriage bed is a breeding ground for nothing but avoidance. 

So consumed he is with his thoughts that he almost runs into Dwalin, his oldest friend, the Captain of the Royal Guard, like his father's before him. Dwalin grabs his shoulder's squarely and laughs, "Good night, my friend. What brings you wandering so late at night?" He waggles his eyebrows so garishly that the King Under the Mountain can't help but laugh. "Are you not supposed to be patrolling my sister's quarters instead, Dwal?"

Dwalin only claps him hard on the back, "The Lady Dis only wishes to know if you are treating her good-sister nicely."

_There is nothing nice about this. He has lived too many lives without her to let her go so easily this time. Their bodies keep up a restless symphony. He brings her to the edge with his hands and tongue enough times that he loses count and still it is not enough. She claws at his back when he stops to kiss her, sweeping into her mouth until there is nothing else he can taste. "Yavanna, get on with it!" He chuckles into her mouth, licks the space between her breasts, and takes the peak into his mouth until she shivers._

_"You taste how I remember," he pants into her ear, avoiding her eyes in case she is confused, "I could fuck you forever."_

_She smiles into his shoulder, "Oh my love, we never have forever."_

When Thorin reaches his bed chambers the first thing he sees is the portrait of Durin and Mahal. He remembers nights curled up next to that mural, holding on to the only thing that he remembered as the memories swept through his mind, and he almost went mad from it. 

It seems, tonight will be one of those nights. 

_Durin the Deathless, the trees chant, Durin the Deathless, the raven crows, Durin the Deathless, she screams._

_He wakes with her name in his mouth and tears overflowing from his eyes. Mahal sits beside him, just like he remembers, "Sleep, my stars. The pain will lessen with time."_

_It is meant to be comforting but all he hears is the mountains cackle, "Maybe," they say, "maybe not."_


	3. pick up your clothes and curl your toes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the end, it's the wine, really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments and criticisms are the wind beneath my writing wings. :)

At the end of the night, it's the wine that undoes them both, even if they can't quite remember drinking too many glasses at all. In the end, it's the wine, really. 

Prince Kili's coming of age ceremony had been one of the most merry celebrations that Erebor had even seen. Even the great wizard Gandalf had deigned to make an appearance, citing the young Kili and one of his dearest friends, Queen Blue, as his reasons for dropping by. The King and Queen always doted on their youngest nephew, but even more so tonight, when he is shining and laughing and the center of attention. The Grey Wizard has brought along many, many, many bottles of his favorite red wine as well. That might have added to the night's fervor a touch. 

Bluebell tells the servants to prepare her friend a room, says she will wake early to attend to the rest of the castle, but if she is to do so then she must sleep. She says all the proper goodbyes, kisses her nephew's cheek, squeezes her good-sister's hand, and makes her way down to the Royal Bedchambers. This night, though, the air is hot and muggy, and she finds herself stripping off her clothes before she even reaches her rooms. Even then, the walk seems to far, so she decides to stay in the shared chambers, meant for the King and Queen together, but used by no one. Throwing herself on the bed in a very unqueenly manner, she only has half a mind to throw the thin sheet across her naked body before she falls into sleep. 

_Beorn had served pints and pints and pints of honey ale to them all. And they had been so tired and in need of something . . . that they had partaken without even a thought. This, Blue thinks, has led to her being naked as the day she was born in the garden and of course, riding Thorin Oakenshield like there is no sunrise coming. Oh, coming. She is perched in his lap, hands knotted in his hair while he mutters a plethora of sweet obscenities into the night._

_His hot hands touch the bud at the beginning of her sex, making soft circles while she screams his name to the stars._

_And, she wonders after, if they could hear her._


	4. on my head i hold a broken crown.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's my name?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song inspiration is "I'm On Fire" by AWOLNATION.

_"At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet_

_And a freight train running through the_

_Middle of my head_

_Only you can cool my desire_

_Oh-oh-oh, I'm on fire"_

Thorin Oakenshield has not been affected by alcohol is centuries. So, he is not sure why one glass of red wine is making him feel Deathless. He wants to shake the memories from his head but cannot. Shedding clothes as he walks down the halls, his blood is on fire. The King's chamber is far enough away that he cannot comprehend the distance. Thorin Oakenshield, Durin, The King Under the Mountain, the . . . 

whoever he is, his mouth goes dry at the sight of Bluebell Baggins. 

_"This is your lot," they say. "You have known this."_

_Durin looks up into the night, "I know. Eru have mercy. I know."_

_The One looks down on the weeping child of Mahal and says, "One more chance for you."_

**One more chance turns into a lifetime of lost loves.**

Bluebell wakes up to the most lovely dream. Thorin is between her thighs, supping upon her like it is the last meal he will ever have. She trembles like a struck bell and realizes, this is not a dream. He stops when he realizes she is awake, apologizes in a long rambling drunk wave, and she just guides his mouth back to her and his grateful moan is almost as loud as her own. He brings her to a thundering climax again and again and again until she can take no more and she is pushing him away with hands and feet. 

She is pulling him up her body for a kiss that is all tongue and teeth and heady. 

He rocks into her almost obscenely and this, this she has missed. "Oh my lovely girl," he groans, "my lovely lovely Blue. I have waited for you. I have waited for you a thousand years." He hits that spot again and again and nothing in her life has felt like this. This is miles away from the dutiful couplings they have shared in the past. This is what one waits a lifetime for. Her feet on his backside urge him on and she clings to him like an anchor. Each time their bodies connect so do their memories. 

_I love you._

_I love you._

_I love you._

_I want you._

_I need you._

_Who are you?_

"Who are you?" she pants, as he brings her nipple into his mouth with a careful hand, wrists collected loosely above her head. "I am **yours,"** he says, "In all my lifetimes, I am yours. I will always find you. I have done so many things, my love. So many bad things. I remember them all. It is my bane to carry, not yours. Please forgive me, Please forgive me. Please forgive me."

She remembers desperate times in the garden, in the dungeons, in the bloody Laketown. "When I die, whom will you be?" And then words fail her because pleasure is arcing through her body because of his clever fingers. 

"This is my last life, my found one."

_"When you find them, you will be finished, do you understand, child?"_

 

 

And so, he does. 

 

 


End file.
